christmas part 2

the singing christmas tree...when my grandma asked me if i would like to be her chaperon for the nursing home outing to the singing christmas tree...i mean my initial reaction was "eeek...really? a stuff tree with voices coming from it? with a bunch of old people?---SURE grandma i would LOVE to go!" haha...no really...nasty right? but of course i said yes and to be honest i was looking forward to it, mostly cause i knew it would be a hilarious adventure...oh and it was nothing short of just that.

i got to the nursing home at 5:15 on the night of the show (we were all riding together in a "short" bus -- my mom went as well...) we got all the old ladies and gentleman loaded into the bus and buckled up and shortly after the laughs began and didn't cease till unloading the bus a full 6 hours later.

story 1:
my grandma was sitting next to another cute little old lady right behind me...
grandma - "wow these lights are gorgeous!"
(referring to the lights on the grounds of her nursing home...she must not get outside to see them much)
old lady next to her - "oh yes they are beautiful...much better than last year's"
grandma - "oh have you been here long?"
old lady next to her - "here at this facility?"
grandma - "yes"
old lady next to her - "i have no idea."

story 2:
we had just parked in front of the keller and started to unload the troops...the old man sitting across the isle from me apparently missed the memo on the activity we were doing as he proceeded to inquire to stephanie (the nursing home activities coordinator) about what he was doing parked in front of a building...
old man - "what are we doing?"
stephanie - "we are going to see the singing christmas tree."
old man - "yeah but where are we?"
stephanie - "at the keller auditorium down town."
old man - "i thought this was a trip to see lights?"
stephanie - "no, remember this is a show about the singing christmas tree. remember? we have been talking about it for a few weeks."
old man - "i don't want to see no show about a singing tree..."
stephanie - "well i'm sorry but that is what we are doing, if you would like we can take you back."
old man - "i'm only going to look at lights. not see a show."
stephanie - "ok well stay on the bus then and we will take you back if that's what you want."

my mom - (whispering) "you would think he would know what he was spending $40 bucks on..."

story 3:
after situating all the wheel chairs in the handicap section of the theatre my mom and i set off for some snacks...and by snacks i mean...
mom - "wanna go get a cocktail now?"
me - "duh"

to the lady behind the counter
mom - "do you have alcohol?"
lady - "no"
mom - "oh...well hmmm...i guess i will take a large diet coke"
me - "and i will have some skittles and a cookie (for my grandma)"
lady - "ok that will be 7.75"
lady - "im going to not put ice in here so you can chug it. cause you can't chug pop with ice."
mom - "um well i would like ice, why do i have to chug it?"
lady - "well the show starts in three minutes and you can't take open container drinks in there, only ones with lids"
mom - "oh well ...um...ok?"
we exchanged 'wtf' looks...and then decided to sneak our snacks in anyway...the nazi usher girl saw and said we needed to finish our drink and snacks out in the hall...
mom - "oh hell no we are giving that cooking to your grandma...put it in your shirt."
me - "mom..."
mom - "DO IT"
me - "ok"

walked into the theatre
me - "here grandma be stealth about this..."
grandma - "oh DELICIOUS! for me!?"
me - "SHHHHHH!"
grandma - "oh ok..."
me - opened up my skittles and spilled them everywhere...

nazi usher glared as i picked each of them up.

me and grandma.


it was an adventure...but needless to say the actual performance was totally better than i had anticipated...apparently the singing christmas tree is the largest choir in oregon and they were fantastic. it was a total blast believe it or not.