the smell of victory

last night team r-west did it again...

we made out on top and took home our second victory...i know right? but really it's how we do...we strike when the snake is weak...we pounce when the wind is still...we attack when the monster is sleeping...that or take advantage of when just three members of the other team show up due to miscommunication and have to forfeit...but hey, im ok with that...

we decided to take advantage of everyone being in the same place at the same time dressed for the event and scrimmage practice to work on the art of kickballing...the art was accompanied by some classy adult beverages...


as promised, a picture...this is how we do...


yesterday's smell of victory was like smelling flowers from heaven...mixed with beer, ball burns, and shin bruises...it was beautiful

this is how i play "beach"

i remember the very first time i went to our beach house. i was eight (i think...maybe seven...i dont really know...so i guess i don't remember that good...but i do remember that i went...and i do remember seeing our house for the first time...) i also remember that i went with just my family...meaning dad, mom, and sister...that was also probably the last time the four of us ever went just "the-four-of-us" to the beach house together...that is until last weekend.

normally the 14 sleeper house is cramped full of people, food, dogs, vodka, sand, poker chips, tillamook cheese, bags from lincoln city outlet mall...but no, not this time...this time it was simply dad, mom, sister, molly and i...it was quiet, it was relaxing, and it was sooo not normal for typical "beaching" that sister and i had to make up new rules to play beach...

we updated ipods with new music, we slept...lots...and then when we were done sleeping lots we slept more, we ate pizza both nights (take out..from the hawk street cafe because we were too lazy to wait at the resturant to get seated so we just ordered it to go..because who needs to get ready or get out of their pijamas unless into a swim suit ...nope not us..), we did photo shoots



we text messaged lots...we even played text message games with jill and evie...
sister and i got bored so we went and got ice cream from the little store

we had to share our good ideas with jill and evie...they liked our good ideas so they went and got ice cream too!

and they wanted to share their ice cream with us!
we played more text games with them...because they had good ideas like drinking with ice cream

sister and i wanted to play too...

unfortunately we didnt have beer, so we played the next best thing...but it got the job done...

we also had to ride horse, well sister got to, but i had to, because im just that nice...

im not a big horse lover, allie is the whipser of the family..i do better just petting them from the ground...this was the horse i wanted...this nice nice one...

but no, they gave me the huge stallion...

exact quote
"i want this horse, shes soo nice!"-me
"they will probably give you that huge one over there"-allie
"eew sick. thats a beast i dont want him!"-me
they gave me the beast. and the first thing he did was run over to the grass and started eating by the snakes...yeah, the big beast horse ran me to snakes...it wasn't my best day...

the beach with the family was great...mom made out with a harry potter scar on her finger (my sister has the picture i will post it when i get my hands on it..but it was a bloody lightening bolt on her pinky finger)...she got it cause of karma..she was trying to open a beer (with another beer bottle) for my dad when we were driving...drinking and driving...yeah see? bad karma...dad celebrated his 56th birthday (hella old...hella OLD!)...sister got to ride horses...and me, well i slept 13 hours in one night..that was a record...a much needed record because im too busy for sleep...it was nice to relex...we should do more of "just-familing" while beaching in the future. :) i've decided i like to play beach that way.

trendy whips

before i begin i will clarify that the whips part of my title isn't referring to horse whips, or dominatrix ball and chain whips...the title actually refers to the popular culture terminology most easily associated with E-40's "tell me when to go" lyrics...ghost ride the whip.

the whips i am referring to are cars.

i am not sure exactly what makes a car cool and trendy...some would argue that the circular blue and white logo reading bmw makes a car cool, some would argue that low riding hella ghetto air compressed lime green cadillacs are cool...and then there are people like me who think that yellow bugs with license plates that read groovy and a fake flower in the bud vase by the steering wheel is cool. i suppose there are lots of different qualifications that can make a car trendy and fun to own...however, there have got to be limits to this...

i don't know what is going on but in the past couple weeks i have seen more vehicles that make me furrow my brow and say "what? is that a joke?" then i've ever seen before in my life. i thought the best way to share with you my encounters would be to start documenting them to share...


this is a car on the freeway that has jesus rocks painted on the back window in blue paint...


this gmc truck looks normal, but the license plate reads "ic cube" (no e... i know you first probably thought i made a typo, but no...really there was no e) and a girl was driving the truck..

i'm confused...because last time i checked those were both nasty things to have on your car...anything but trendy. but i've decided that i would give them the benefit of the doubt because not all hope is lost, if i saw the whips ghost riding down the street that would probably make them cool...i've always wanted to see a ghost riding jesus rocking whip.

The Day American Was Born

231 years ago today, america was born. now i know some of you would say wait i thought america was over three hundred years old?! well i blame my weird nerdy interest in history for the correct date of july 4, 1776 as the day america told the british to peace out and leave us to celebrate with fireworks, hot dogs, and lots and lots of adult beverages...(a thought i have recently started to contemplate booze and tnt...why do i feel like those two items should never really go together? but oh they do!! and well at that!)

i am exceptionally excited for today’s birthday celebration because i missed america’s 230th birthday when i celebrated the independence of a country i wasn’t even in at the salzburg center in austra one year ago today.

don't get me wrong it was great fun we had a bbq with kevin’s fresh apple pie, sausages, beer, and best of all watermelon that we made into a chastity belt modeled from the metal crotch business we saw at the salzburg castle!


it was an experience of a life time and big parts of me wishes i was there now! but something about our traditional block party at the prockish’s, hella food, boys smashing picalo peets and duck taping them into water bottles to make massive exploding bombs, and the good old happy valley fire works just can't be replaced...in fact i have been so excited for america's forth of july that i prefunked it with a small firework show in my drive way last saturday night...the show was a display of fred meyers best fire snakes

cameo tanks

and three egg laying hoes with their cock-a-doodle-doing pimp daddy.

be jealous if you missed it because, not to brag, but it really was nothing short of a perfect night of sparkling beauty.

i love birthday parties...